Maya - the first two days.

When I returned to the ward after my c-section Maya was desperately wanting food. A mid-wife helped set me up for a breast feed, with Maya resting on my stomach and almost straight away I started feeling sick. I got worse and worse and soon afterwards I began vomiting and continued vomiting for around seven hours until they finally found some medication to stop it. During that time and afterwards I was so tired, my head was muddled from all the drugs they had given me and I felt so ill , weak and dizzy. I couldn't sit up, I couldn't hold Maya and I couldn't even see her properly.

I watched from my sick bed as Greg regularly changed and dressed Maya and put her down to sleep. (Without Greg I assume Maya would have been taken away from me to a nursery.) Mid-wives had to help me breast feed because I couldn't sit up and later Greg also took over this role.

The next day I still felt so ill, dizzy, tired and muddled. In the afternoon a nurse got me out of bed and I couldn't stand at all. That night Greg put Maya down to sleep and left to get some things from home. As soon as he left Maya woke up. I could reach her crib and tried rocking her but her crying got louder. I felt so helpless. I couldn't get out of bed to hold her! I had to buzz for a mid-wife who took ages to come. While I lie there listening to Maya crying, I felt so utterly helpless. The mid-wife finally arrived and she basically told me that she couldn't stay with me and that I would have to feed Maya on my own. Then she said that I looked EXHAUSTED and told me that I needed to put Maya in the nursery for the night so that I could get some sleep. I was shocked at the suggestion at first, but while I sat there alone in the room feeding Maya, desperately trying to stay awake (so that I didn't drop off to sleep and drop Maya), I realised she was right - I needed to get a good nights sleep. I also realised that the extremely strong pain killers they were giving me were making me feel worse so I made the decision then and there to stop taking them.

After a good nights sleep and without the strong pain killers in me I was able to get out of bed the next day! :) From then on I just got better and better.. :) And I was finally able to take a good, long look at my gorgeous baby girl. :)

The birth of Maya.

Below is the last picture of me pregnant with Maya (wearing my stylish hospital gown waiting for my scheduled c-section):

Before the operation I was so nervous! I had no idea if I would feel any pain? Would Maya be OK? Would I be OK? Having the spinal block administered did hurt more than I expected but it was tolerable and before I knew it I was experiencing pins and needles and numbness in my lower body.

Greg joined me (in his scrubs) and I waited nervously for things to start.

There was a flurry of activity and I could feel some prodding on my belly, which I assumed was part of the preparation. And I waited for them to start.....

Then I felt someone pushing very hard on my stomach and I heard someone say that they were pushing on the baby.. and my brain suddenly clicked that they were performing the c-section and I didn't even realise that they had started yet!! The words "ohhh chunky baby" were uttered.. then crying.. then a baby was shown to me.. then taken off.. and Greg went with her. I lay there in shock. It seemed like she was born within a minute and I hadn't had time to absorb anything yet. I was still nervous about them starting.. and here was a baby. And I just couldn't connect that the baby they had shown me briefly was the baby that used to reside in my stomach!

She was brought back and placed on my chest.. and I looked for something I would recognise in her.. but there was nothing to indicate she was mine.

The paediatrician told me that she was very well and that was a HUGE relief. Then Greg and Maya were taken away.

I had to wait while they finished patching me back up and then I was taken to the recovery room. My recovery was deemed good but I had to wait a very long time to be taken back to the ward because they were under-staffed. By this stage I couldn't wait to see Greg and Maya again and it was so frustrating to have a totally numb lower body and be unable to walk anywhere!

In the meantime, Greg waited nervously in the ward, with crying baby in arms, wondering what was taking me so long to return.

Finally I was taken to the ward and given Maya to hold and I saw how gorgeous she was! Here was my baby that I had carried for nine months and she was well and healthy and in the world.

I found Maya's birth to be a shock to me and not at all what I expected. It was so quick and I didn't even know it was happening when it was happening. Though I realise that they probably intentionally don't tell patients that they have started, I would have liked to know. I also felt like I missed out on experiencing labour. I have no idea what waters breaking feels like or labour contractions. But afterwards we were told that Maya had not only been in the breech position, but she also had one leg up and the other leg down. That meant that I was never going to be able to give birth naturally. Maya would have gotten stuck. So I am also extremely grateful to my obstetrician and all the other staff present who brought me my gorgeous Maya safe and well. And that's what really matters.

First videos of Maya.

For people overseas who can't come see Maya here is some video footage:

Maya Katherine - Born 10th October 2008.

On Friday 10th October at 9.28am Maya Katherine was born via c-section weighing a very healthy 4.01 kgs! (I'm still not sure how I produced a 4 kg baby! But I am so happy that she is so big and healthy.)

I wish Maya a long, healthy and happy life.

Gorgeous Maya	A new family.
Dad	Mum
Peaceful.	Gorgeous Eyes.

Pregnancy - 39 weeks.

A quick update on pregnancy:

• Bubs has actually been at term from 37 weeks, so she's been 'ready' for the world for a couple of weeks now.


• Movements from bub are much stronger and harder now and at times she makes me feel very uncomfortable or even sore. But I am grateful for her movements because they tell me she's ok in there.. out of room.. but ok!


• For a few weeks now I've been swollen in my hands, legs and feet. I can't tell by looking at them. I can tell by the excruciating pains I get in my hands, knees and feet. I can no longer kneel, squat, grasp or reach for things without sharp, shooting pains and some expletives!

Belly Pics - 37 weeks.

Parenting decisions already!

After much research and discussions we've decided to choose option 3 - a cesarean. It has the best odds of a good outcome for bubs and that's what matters most to us. The unfortunate part is that it'll take me a longer, tougher time to recover from and I was hoping to experience a natural birth.

We already have our date booked, which is so odd to go from "I wonder when she'll arrive" to "she'll be out by then", but also nice to know that there's an end in sight! :)

Breech Baby.

I had an appointment on Monday with my obstetrician and the bub is still in the breech position. There is hardly any room left for her to move (in fact probably zero room) so looks like she'll stay in breech. I am so disappointed because I know the best outcome for the two of us is a normal, natural birth. I also know it would be a huge bonding experience between the two of us and something I was really hoping to experience. And it is no longer possible.

But those are the cards we were dealt and now we need to come up with a new birth plan. There are three possible options:

• Option 1 - Attempt a breech birth (This is the best option if it works out , however 1 out of 20 babies die or are injured, which sounds like too high odds to me - not to mention the fact that a breech birth is a lot harder than a normal birth).
  


• Option 2 - An obstetrician can attempt to forcibly turn her (but the success rate is extremely low, there is a chance of it ending in an emergency situation and the biggest possibility is that nothing will change at all except I'll be mighty sore and bruised).


• Option 3 - A scheduled c-section (a major operation after which I'll need to physically recover while taking on the demands of a new baby and there's a small chance she'll be injured or end up in a nursery for a few days under observation).

Last day of work.

Yes today is my last day of work. And while a few weeks ago I couldn't wait to get out of here, I am now sad about leaving.

This is the longest job I've ever had. I've been here just over 3 1/2 years now. Prior to that my longest job was just over a year. So even though I may talk a lot about all the bad days at work and the times when I just want to quit.. overall it's actually the best job I've ever had and I've had some great times here. I think my staying here for 3 1/2 years says that.

At the same time I know that I cannot keep working because I am sore, tired and need a break. I am really looking forward to a rest, being able to read and having time to prepare for my next phase of life.

Pregnancy - 34th week.

Today I had my obstetrician appointment and found out bubs is still in the breech position. :( There is still time for her to turn but it would have been a lot better if she'd already moved. She obviously loves lying with her head under my ribs for some reason?! Which explains all the rib pain I've been experiencing and probably explains my terrible back pain.

I have been researching ways to encourage babies to turn and plan to try some of the methods suggested. Don't know if it'll work but I think it's worth a try.