Belly Pics - 37 weeks.

Parenting decisions already!

After much research and discussions we've decided to choose option 3 - a cesarean. It has the best odds of a good outcome for bubs and that's what matters most to us. The unfortunate part is that it'll take me a longer, tougher time to recover from and I was hoping to experience a natural birth.

We already have our date booked, which is so odd to go from "I wonder when she'll arrive" to "she'll be out by then", but also nice to know that there's an end in sight! :)

Breech Baby.

I had an appointment on Monday with my obstetrician and the bub is still in the breech position. There is hardly any room left for her to move (in fact probably zero room) so looks like she'll stay in breech. I am so disappointed because I know the best outcome for the two of us is a normal, natural birth. I also know it would be a huge bonding experience between the two of us and something I was really hoping to experience. And it is no longer possible.

But those are the cards we were dealt and now we need to come up with a new birth plan. There are three possible options:

• Option 1 - Attempt a breech birth (This is the best option if it works out , however 1 out of 20 babies die or are injured, which sounds like too high odds to me - not to mention the fact that a breech birth is a lot harder than a normal birth).
  


• Option 2 - An obstetrician can attempt to forcibly turn her (but the success rate is extremely low, there is a chance of it ending in an emergency situation and the biggest possibility is that nothing will change at all except I'll be mighty sore and bruised).


• Option 3 - A scheduled c-section (a major operation after which I'll need to physically recover while taking on the demands of a new baby and there's a small chance she'll be injured or end up in a nursery for a few days under observation).

Last day of work.

Yes today is my last day of work. And while a few weeks ago I couldn't wait to get out of here, I am now sad about leaving.

This is the longest job I've ever had. I've been here just over 3 1/2 years now. Prior to that my longest job was just over a year. So even though I may talk a lot about all the bad days at work and the times when I just want to quit.. overall it's actually the best job I've ever had and I've had some great times here. I think my staying here for 3 1/2 years says that.

At the same time I know that I cannot keep working because I am sore, tired and need a break. I am really looking forward to a rest, being able to read and having time to prepare for my next phase of life.

Pregnancy - 34th week.

Today I had my obstetrician appointment and found out bubs is still in the breech position. :( There is still time for her to turn but it would have been a lot better if she'd already moved. She obviously loves lying with her head under my ribs for some reason?! Which explains all the rib pain I've been experiencing and probably explains my terrible back pain.

I have been researching ways to encourage babies to turn and plan to try some of the methods suggested. Don't know if it'll work but I think it's worth a try.

Having a baby isn't work.

Ever since I announced at work that I am pregnant I have constantly been told how lucky I am that I am 'getting out of work'. Some of my work mates seem to be under the impression that I am leaving work to go on holidays or to enter into some life of luxury. There was even one guy who said "You are so lucky I wish I could get pregnant so that I could leave my job!" Ummm.. isn't having a baby more work? 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, many years work?!

Pregnancy - 32nd week.

Yes I am now 32 weeks pregnant, which I cannot believe! There's only 2 months to go!

Here's a general update of what's going on:

• Just in the last week my back has started hurting all day long. I find it extremely hard to sit for long periods of time.


• My belly is growing at a much faster rate now. I keep meaning to get Greg to take pictures but never think of it when we are both around! Oh and I still get told I'm really small by a lot of people and have at times felt that they meant that I or my baby aren't healthy. But I've finally realised that people are referring to the fact that I have only grown in my belly and no where else.
  


• A couple of weeks ago we started purchasing things for the bubs room, while also trying to get rid of things, so that the new bub things will actually fit in the room!
  


• We've attended baby classes over the last few weeks, which have now finished. My favourite moment was watching Greg change a nappy on a baby doll. :) I hope that means he's an expert now. ;)
  


• I am finishing work on the 5th September and am really looking forward to being able to sleep in, read books and prepare for the bub's arrival. :)
  

Focussing on loss.

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”

- Alexander Graham Bell

I saw this quote a few weeks ago somewhere, at a time when I was focusing on loss. Of course I recently experienced the loss of my grandfather.. but I've also found myself thinking about the fact that I will be leaving my job and giving up financial independence and daily interactions with friends. I will also miss time alone with Greg and easily organised outings and trips away. I will miss sleep ins and actually just sleep in general. And I wonder if my identity will change?

After seeing the quote I realised that it is actually easier for me to focus on the losses rather than the gains at this time, because the things I will lose I already know about.. but the things I will gain are unknown to me. I know I am pregnant.. but I still can't fully connect with the fact that I will end up with a baby. I also know it'll be rewarding and I am very excited about becoming a mother and starting a family with Greg.. but I still can't imagine the bond and love I will feel for my child.

So for now I think it's ok to focus on the losses because the gains are still to come.. :)

As one life begins.. another ends.

My grandfather passed away yesterday after a long illness. It is a relief that he is no longer suffering and I hope that he is finally at peace. Though I am sad that he will not see his great grand daughter. He was so excited when I told him in March that I was pregnant and was determined to be around to see her. Unfortunately life doesn't always work out as we hope, but it's comforting knowing that new life is beginning as one life ends.....

R.I.P. Pa

Cairns.

Greg and I went up to Cairns for a week (our last holiday before the bub arrives). We didn't do much up there, except a lot of sleeping, reading and relaxing - which was pretty much the plan. We did explore some local towns, went to the Cairns Tropical Zoo (where we got to feed kangaroos :) and spent time lounging by the pool or on the beach. :)

Greg - on the way to Kuranda	Beach on an overcast day.
Relaxing by the pool.	Hotel Pool.
Greg patting a kangaroo.	Tanya feeding a kangaroo.
A glimpse of the bump.	Dinner.