So, why do women change their names and not men and why do children take their father's name? The answer is because it has always been done like that. Also, upon marriage women used to become their husband's property and that's why women had to take their husband's name. If someone back in the past had decided that men should take their wife's name then that's what would happen now.
Of course now women have choice, but the vast majority of women still take their husband's name, which actually surprises me in this day and age. I was never going to change my name. Greg and I even discussed that if we had two children one would have his name and one mine. Perhaps that sounds confusing but I actually know of a family who did this and it works for them. I also know of a man who took his wife's name and whose children take her name. So there are changes happening, just not many yet.
Up until the day Maya was born we still didn't know which surname she would have - mine or Greg's? When she was placed on my chest and I saw that beautiful face my heart welled with love for this precious girl and suddenly I realised that I couldn't give her my name. Even though I have come to like my name for it's unusualness, I grew up hating my stand out, unpronounceable surname and suddenly I couldn't give my little baby girl this name I had despised as a child. So I gave her my husband's easy, normal surname instead.
Since then I have taken an about turn and I am seriously considering changing my surname to be the same as my daughters. I want to be as connected as possible to her.
But it is MY name. It is who I am known by. It is my identity. It is mine.
But I have this new life now and I want to embrace it as fully as I can. I am her mother and I want the world to know it.
It's a hard decision for me.
But it is MY name. It is who I am known by. It is my identity. It is mine.
But I have this new life now and I want to embrace it as fully as I can. I am her mother and I want the world to know it.
It's a hard decision for me.
5 comments:
I hated the surname I grew up with to the point that I changed it when I was 16. I didn't want to wait until (or if) I get married, and there were no guarantees that the man's surname will be to my liking. I suppose now I am nobody's but I'm used ot it so I don't mind.
I took my husband's name without hesitation. I did it because it is traditional. I did it because I was starting a new life with him and wanted that connection. If/When we have a boy, his first name will be my maiden name.
Yes it is traditional because women used to be owned by their fathers and then ownership was passed on to their husbands upon marriage.
Oh? You must mail me your original surname Jules. :)
IMHO, Tanya is still a significant part of your name so why not? I know you by your name, I know who you are, and I know your background (to a certain extent) and you are a good friend so why not? :)
Or maybe one of those hyphenated forms which I think suits yours too....something like Tanya husband-wife surname.
me 2c....I haven't posted my 2c in a looooooong time!
Eug - I guess my point is that yes Tanya is a significant part of my name and I wouldn't go changing it so why would I change my surname which is also a significant part of my name, especially in regards to my career?
I just put a lot of thought into things. :)
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