I have been back at work now for ten weeks, which I am proud of. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to manage work with my illness but thankfully I haven't had any vertigo attacks since the end of December last year. I still worry about having an attack and it's often on my mind that one could happen at any moment. But being back at work has given me some confidence again - managing an hour long, two way, two train travel plus two full work days with no attacks - I am relieved.
It has been tough at times managing the work load around minding Maya and doing housework. I have to bring work home with me and it's hard fitting it in during Maya's one nap of the day, which can be anywhere from 1 to 2 hours (usually 1 1/2 to 2 hours and sometimes 3 if I am very lucky).
Overall I am happy to be back at work. However, I would rather be working only one day and have Maya in care two days a week, so that I could get everything I needed to get done for work in those two days.
Maya is happier at child care now. She has her favourite carers, she eats well and interacts with the other children. However, there is still a problem. She rarely sleeps there and if she does it's usually only 15 to 20 minutes. Compared with her usual 1 1/2 to 2 hour naps at home, that's a very big difference and by the end of the child care days Maya is a tired, unhappy mess.
For most of these past ten weeks Maya hasn't been happy at child care, which has at times left me feeling guilty for returning to work and leaving her. Unfortunately sometimes what is best for me won't necessarily be best for her, and right now being back at work is important to me.
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