Advice.

Being a mother seems to invite people to give you advice.  The problem is there's conflicting advice, different beliefs and wrong advice given by well meaning people.  I realise the irony here when I am also giving advice, which I'm sure conflicts at times with other's beliefs and I'm not immune to making errors or being biased in what I think.  But my advice is to trust your instincts and do your research from credible sources. 

Some of this advice is given by people who are experts (paediatricians, maternal child health nurses, etc) but they make mistakes too and have their own agendas and beliefs.  I know what it's like to be given incorrect and even ridiculous advice by experts.

As I've said in previous posts, Maya was born at a large birth weight but from there never put on much weight.  In hospital I was told that I needed to express and feed her more by the midwives (experts).  I was told that "I must not be feeding her correctly".  They undermined my confidence.  Then they would watch me feed Maya and exclaim "Oh everything looks good."  But they still kept telling me something must be wrong.  I was lucky to have a paediatrician who told me that Maya was doing fine and I didn't need to change anything.  But it was worrying when one person was telling me everything was OK versus many who were telling me that everything was not OK.

I'd read a lot about breastfeeding prior to birth from sources such as the Australian Breastfeeding Association.  I knew that if babies were given bottles before breastfeeding was established then they might end up preferring the bottle over the breast or have trouble learning how to breastfeed because of the two different methods.   I knew that formula was no substitute for breast milk and breast milk was all the food they required.   I knew that babies wouldn't starve themselves.  I knew that they would take what they needed and that when they needed more they would take more and my supply would increase to meet the new demand.  I knew that I didn't need to express to increase my supply because the baby would do that at their own pace and when needed.  But when faced with the pressure from experts I began to doubt what I knew and questioned what I was doing.  I tried expressing to increase my supply (and ended up with blocked ducts many times, which is painful and can lead to mastitis) and I gave top ups of formula.  Both of which were exhausting to add to my already busy schedule and at the end of the day made no difference to Maya's growth.

When I moved house last year I had to find a new health nurse who pressured me to give up breastfeeding because of Maya's lack of weight gains.  She even told me to feed Maya chocolate, cream and butter to 'fatten her up'.  Needless to say I walked out that door and never returned to see her.

I'd like to think that I am now able to recognise when to follow advice and when to leave it.  But when worried and wanting the very best for your child it is easy to lose trust of yourself and your instincts and put your trust in the 'experts'.

I know it's hard to trust yourself and to know which and whose advice to take.  My advice is to trust yourself and the expertise of a few reputable sources whose advice you gel with

You can take that or leave it.