Shattered.

On Saturday I visited my mother and she dropped a bombshell on me.

She still has cancer.

It was such a shock for me because I believed that the cancer had been fully removed during her surgery.  But the mass was much bigger than expected.  And despite the fact that bladder cancer is one of the most treatable forms of cancer because it generally grows slowly and stays contained within the bladder, it seems her cancer has grown rapidly and spread outside of the bladder.

Right now we don't know the next steps.  She will have a scan sometime in February to determine how much of the cancer is left.  And then the next course of action will be determined - another operation?  chemotherapy?  or radiation?

Until Saturday I thought my mother's battle ahead was to recover from her series of operations.  But it seems it's a bigger battle than I thought.  And I am shattered.