Life is short.

Ever since my mother passed I find myself questioning my life.

There's a realisation that life is short.. too short.. and it can end unexpectedly at any moment.

Life is so often lived as though there is an infinite amount of time.  Life ending is unimaginable.

But then we are faced with mortality.

And with the significant loss I have just experienced, I also have the realisation that now I have opportunity via the inheritance I will come into.  And with it some freedom to make changes.

Of course given the choice I would give it all up in a flash to have my mother back.  I would give it up and more - my house, my money, everything I own.

But I can't.  And my mother worked hard for what she had.  And I don't want to waste it.

So I could use it to change careers.  To renovate.  Towards paying our loan.  To buy a new house.  To holiday.  To invest.  To have another child.  A combination of the above.

Right now I don't know what to do.  But I am entertaining the possibilities life suddenly has to offer.

Life is too short.  And I want to spend my days as fulfilled and happy as I can be.

I'm just not sure how to work out what will be fulfilling and happy for me.  But I haven't been enjoying my job for a while now.  Even before my mother passed.  And that is one area I want to work on.  But do I stay in my current career and try somewhere else?  Or change careers altogether?  Or become a stay at home mother again? 

I used to spend too much time worrying about how my decisions affect others.  But I need to start thinking about what I want and stop worrying about others.  I can't make everyone happy.  The only people I need to think about are myself, Greg and Maya.  And how we can make the most of our time together, so that it is as fulfilling and happy as it can be with the life we have.