As someone who has worked with children I know that each child has an individual personality and unique abilities. Why is it then that children are expected to achieve and learn the same things as other children when their abilities clearly differ?
Of course there are some common things that need to be learnt in order to function in society. Like using money, understanding turn taking in conversation, dressing oneself...... But there is still a problem with this. Not all children are capable of learning these "simple" things. Some children have disabilities which prevent them from either being able to understand these concepts or they are physically unable to undertake these tasks.
Parents want their children to be "normal", but what is "normal"?? Shouldn't we be looking at each child's abilities and supporting them to achieve what they can achieve?
In spite of their abilities and disabilities I hope any children I have and may have will be encouraged by me and others to achieve realistic goals and encouraged to pursue their interests. I hope that they will not be compared to others or compared to the "norm".
I hope my children are their own unique normal - whatever that may be.
3 comments:
I guess we all eventually come against "normality" being limiting or damaging to our own unique growth.
UK government is spending lots of time talking about "children achieving their full potential", but in practice a lot of their new laws/programs seem to have the opposite effect.
Fioleta... government programs always have the opposite effect. I digress.
I had a conversation once about teaching children art and getting them to draw the triangle-on-a-square form of a house. I suggested it limits their creativity but the other person pointed out that they need to learn it in order to understand a basic visual construct (that particular shape always represents a house), like the outline of a circle on a triangle on a rectangle represents a woman, useful for knowing where to pee in a foreign country.
I struggle constantly with comparing Jude to other children, I hear myself saying "so-and-so can stand up on her own, so why can't you?" and then I realise that I have just belittled him and, worse, completely ignored his wonderful strengths (like being able to hold his own bottle and read a book on his own which he does when the other babies can't).
I just want him to be his own person, so I should never compare him to anyone else.
Eliza, I also compare Maya to other babies. I think it's hard not to. I have to keep reminding myself that she will do things in her own time and in her own way.
What you say about teaching children about basic visual constructs I agree that there are some common things that need to be learnt by all, but there are some children who will not be able to learn these things.
I've met many parents with very unrealistic expectations of their children. Like one parent wanted her son to learn multimedia when he could barely use a computer.
I just hope that I don't end up with unrealistic expectations of my daughter.
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