I think motherhood is the hardest, toughest thing I have ever done and that nothing could have ever prepared me for how tough it would be. Neither talking to anyone nor minding other kids could have prepared me for motherhood because at the same time as it is tough, I love Maya so much! I would not get up in the middle of the night or change nappies for anyone else.
Some days or moments are extremely tough and at times I feel like I am doing a horrible job. Other days or moments are good and I really love being a mum. I feel like I'm on a roller coaster ride but I am blind folded and I have no idea what's coming up next or where I am going! Things change all the time from day to day and from moment to moment. But the one thing that is constant throughout it all is that I love Maya so much and want the very best for her.
Thursday, 12 March 2009
About a month ago Maya worked out that she could get off her tummy if she rolled over onto her back. Maya always hated being on her tummy and it was no surprise to me that she learnt this roll first. As for rolling from back to front she would roll from her back onto her side and then quickly turn herself back. I think it was to prevent herself from ending up on her dreaded tummy! Then a couple of days ago she just suddenly flipped from back to tummy while desperately trying to reach a toy. She got the toy and flipped over again. Yesterday she kept flipping over and over - back to front then front to back. Not only is it something new to do but she's worked out that she can move a bit more around by doing this and reach things like toys or anything else on ground level.
Wednesday, 11 March 2009
Maya has now moved to her cot in her own room. We had to make the move because Maya won't fit into her bassinet much longer. On the one hand I am enjoying the freedom to enter my bedroom at any time of the day, the ability to read in bed again and being able to chat with Greg before going to sleep. On the other hand I really miss her. I loved having her close by, hearing her little sighs, being able to easily get up to her during the night and feeding her in bed while dozing.
For me being a mother brings such paradoxical feelings. When she has been awake for a while I often start to crave some time to myself. Then when she's asleep I really miss her and wish I could hug her (which of course I don't dare do because she would wake and I'd have to settle her back down to sleep again!). I both miss my me time and miss time with her.
Taken 02/03/09 - 4 months 3 weeks old - No room left!Taken 10/03/09 - 5 months - Room for growth and to move!