In regards to my mother's passing I often hear: "At least she's not suffering any more". And while I don't want my mother to be suffering, I also don't want her to be dead. And if the choice is suffering or death, well right now I would choose her suffering just to have her here with me. Yes, it may be selfish but that's how I feel.
In life there are things we suffer through. Accidents. Operations. Loss. Pushing ourselves to our limits. And not all this suffering ends in death. Some suffering comes before achieving a dream or before recovering from loss, an accident or an operation.
So I guess what I really want is my mother's suffering to be towards recovery rather than towards death. And I want my mother alive not dead. And the fact that she is not suffering any more is no comfort to me.