Saturday, 3 March 2012

To have no regrets.

I recently read a post written by palliative care nurse, Bonnie Ware, about the five most common regrets of the dying.  You can read the article here.

In Bonnie's post she writes
Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.
While it is comforting to know that palliative patients find peace before passing, I know this is not the case for my mother.  Between discovering she was terminal and dying, she only had five days.  Most of which were spent in a tremendous amount of pain, sleeping, delirious or in anger and remorse.  It breaks my heart to think that my mother did not find peace in her final days.  She went to her grave with so many regrets and I wish I could have taken those burdens from her

What it leaves me with is that not everyone is afforded the time to prepare for their death.  Indeed my mother had more time than some.  Time to process some regrets, to say "I love you", to say "I don't want to leave you".

But some people's lives end in an unexpected instant.  Recently I read about a local woman who was standing on a median strip, struck down by an out of control car and killed instantly.  No time to process.  No time to say goodbye.  No time to say "I love you".

Now's the time to live.  To say "I love you".  To make changes.  To fulfil dreams.  To work out what you want.  What will make you happy.  And to work out a way to do it.

To have no regrets.



Hamish said...

Thanks Tanya. Wise words I think. A relative of mine died recently of cancer. We knew she was very unwell but most of the family didn't realise she might die. 38 with twin 2 year old girls. Very sad.

Tanya said...

That is very sad. :-(