Thursday, 23 February 2012

No reserves in place.

Often when I mention that I no longer have much help with Maya, now that my mother is gone, I hear replies such as "I never had any help" or "I don't have any help either".  The thing is these people's parents either never helped much anyway or they live too far away to help.  And the decision to have children was made knowing their parents wouldn't be around to help. 

I didn't make such a decision.

I always knew motherhood would be hard and I didn't want to do it without my mother's help and company.  Of course Greg is a great father and husband and he does help a lot.  But he works full time and he's away the majority of the time I am with Maya.

Yes I know other people have raised children without the support of parents.  But it's not what I chose to do nor what I wanted to do.  It's not something I planned for nor thought would happen. 

When I decided to have a child I made that decision based on the fact that I would have my mother's support. 

And that support was suddenly pulled out from under me, with no reserves in place.


Jane Hoffman Foretold said...

My mom died 8 days before my son was born. If your mom died too soon, I know the feeling. I hope you find a good support system.

Tanya said...

Thanks Jane. And I'm sorry to hear of your loss. My mother died when my daughter was 2 years old, but only really got to spend the first 1 1/2 years with my daughter, before she got too sick. My father passed away 12 years ago, well before my daughter came along. So yes both my parents died too soon.