Thursday, 14 August 2008

Focussing on loss.

When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.
- Alexander Graham Bell
I saw this quote a few weeks ago somewhere, at a time when I was focusing on loss. Of course I recently experienced the loss of my grandfather.. but I've also found myself thinking about the fact that I will be leaving my job and giving up financial independence and daily interactions with friends. I will also miss time alone with Greg and easily organised outings and trips away. I will miss sleep ins and actually just sleep in general. And I wonder if my identity will change?

After seeing the quote I realised that it is actually easier for me to focus on the losses rather than the gains at this time, because the things I will lose I already know about.. but the things I will gain are unknown to me. I know I am pregnant.. but I still can't fully connect with the fact that I will end up with a baby. I also know it'll be rewarding and I am very excited about becoming a mother and starting a family with Greg.. but I still can't imagine the bond and love I will feel for my child.

So for now I think it's ok to focus on the losses because the gains are still to come.. :)


Anonymous said...

Very wise :-) Looking forward to reading about the gains in the near future!

Fioleta said...

Oh! yes, you will change and Greg will change and your relationship with him will change and your relationships with the rest of your family and friends will change. And there will be hard times and sleepless nights (days, weeks). But you'll have such a great opportunity to use all the change to improve & grow and you'll get to experience seeing someone else grow from a tiny helpless thing to amazing human being.

I still haven't figured out in which ways I changed and the only thing I regret is not concentrating more on all the good small things of pregnancy and first few months of being a mother. Hope you'll find a right balance.

chet said...

Don't forget poor 'ol lonely chet in Singapore.....