Maya - the first two days.

When I returned to the ward after my c-section Maya was desperately wanting food. A mid-wife helped set me up for a breast feed, with Maya resting on my stomach and almost straight away I started feeling sick. I got worse and worse and soon afterwards I began vomiting and continued vomiting for around seven hours until they finally found some medication to stop it. During that time and afterwards I was so tired, my head was muddled from all the drugs they had given me and I felt so ill , weak and dizzy. I couldn't sit up, I couldn't hold Maya and I couldn't even see her properly.

I watched from my sick bed as Greg regularly changed and dressed Maya and put her down to sleep. (Without Greg I assume Maya would have been taken away from me to a nursery.) Mid-wives had to help me breast feed because I couldn't sit up and later Greg also took over this role.

The next day I still felt so ill, dizzy, tired and muddled. In the afternoon a nurse got me out of bed and I couldn't stand at all. That night Greg put Maya down to sleep and left to get some things from home. As soon as he left Maya woke up. I could reach her crib and tried rocking her but her crying got louder. I felt so helpless. I couldn't get out of bed to hold her! I had to buzz for a mid-wife who took ages to come. While I lie there listening to Maya crying, I felt so utterly helpless. The mid-wife finally arrived and she basically told me that she couldn't stay with me and that I would have to feed Maya on my own. Then she said that I looked EXHAUSTED and told me that I needed to put Maya in the nursery for the night so that I could get some sleep. I was shocked at the suggestion at first, but while I sat there alone in the room feeding Maya, desperately trying to stay awake (so that I didn't drop off to sleep and drop Maya), I realised she was right - I needed to get a good nights sleep. I also realised that the extremely strong pain killers they were giving me were making me feel worse so I made the decision then and there to stop taking them.

After a good nights sleep and without the strong pain killers in me I was able to get out of bed the next day! :) From then on I just got better and better.. :) And I was finally able to take a good, long look at my gorgeous baby girl. :)