For me the toughest part of motherhood so far has been the loneliness and lack of support. Not only do I have no one to talk to but more importantly there's no one around to help. Of course Greg helps heaps and I couldn't do this without him, but for the majority of the week he's either at work or sleeping.
I do attend play group and mums and bubs yoga and try to see people whenever I can. However most people work or have plenty of friends and family to see or who are there to help.
The really frustrating thing is that I do in fact have some family members who are free during the week but they are not prepared to travel the one hour to see me. They act as though I live on the other side of the world. Instead I try to visit my family but Maya hates being in the car and on one particular trip spent the whole hour screaming all the way back, which kind of put me off making the trip. And hey even without the screaming it's tough travelling with a baby - all the things to pack and organise! It would be a whole lot easier for them to come to me. Plus the things I need help with are at my place.
I know there are plenty of mothers out there who have moved very far away from friends and family or are single mothers. And to be honest I have no idea how they manage being on their own. Though I guess I am managing, I just don't want to do this on my own.
4 comments:
I'll provide 'remote' support though I'm not sure how...
Hi Tanya
Tim just showed me this blog. You have written how i feel - so how glad am i that you are moving soooo close!! If you want to, i'd love to be buddies with you. I will also try to help you into playgroups, etc if i can. Once Maya gets to know us, it sounds like you could do with some "time off" from the draining (but awesome) role of motherhood, and i'd be happy to help with that. I too feel very alone, but have not been brave enough to state it! Let's help each other - i'm a bit shakey at friendships, so please persist with me, i'd love to get to know you better and am excited about your move this week - do (and i really mean it) call for help and once settled let me know when we can start catching up!
Love, Emma
Thanks guys. :)
*huge hug* I know how you feel. I was in exactly the same situation. The workdays were really lonely (weekends better as I could see my friends and Clive was home). I no longer crave help, but some adult conversation on more regular bases would be great. At the same time I'm very protective of the tiny amount of time I have to be on my own now. I'm very private person and being with someone all day everyday is very hard (even when it is my very much loved daughter). (Hell, going to the bathroom on my own at times feels like luxury).
I joined few promising playgroups in the new area and hoping to make some friendships from that. I hope that your move will also improve things.
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