Tuesday 26 January 2010

A decade without dad.

Today marks a milestone for me - the ten year anniversary of my father's passing.  I'm not really sure why it feels like a milestone.  Maybe because ten years is a significant amount of time - nearly a third of my life that I have been without my dad.  And there have been so many moments that my father has missed - graduation, marriage and the birth of Maya being the most significant.  Plus we've missed out on ten years of conversations, hugs and moments to see each other.

I wish that my dad knew that the guy he met ten years ago became my husband in the future.  I wish he knew that we had a child together.  I wish I could have just five more minutes with my dad.

So today I visited my father's grave to mark the occasion.  I also took Maya to 'visit' my dad and told her about him.

I love you Dad forever and always.  Always missed.  Never forgotten.  xxxx

6 comments:

Yiota said...

Hi Tanya!
I landed here by clicking on the 'next blog' button.
I'm so sorry for your loss - I lost my mum 7 months ago and lost my world.
Your little girl is beautiful!
Yiota

Tanya said...

Thanks Yiota. I remember just how hard it was after I lost my father (especially the first few months). I remember also feeling like I lost my whole world. My condolences to you on the loss of your mother. xx

Lori said...

Thank you for sharing your "milestone". It has been 16 years for of them for me. My dad passed away after my first child was born. I youngest, (his namesake) is just like him. As you know, the pain does get softer but never goes away. Make sure you tell Maya everything about him and how much he would love her. He lives on that way...forever.

Tanya said...

Thanks Lori. Yes my father is always missed but he lives on through my memories of him, as your father lives on through your memories. :)

Word Soup said...

Your heartfelt comments are a privilege to read. I know how you feel. It broke my heart to lose my Mom in 1972, when I was 20 years old. I still miss her after all these years.

She never met my husband or held either of her two grand daughters.

I wrote a book about my experience titled, "Losing Hazel". It's on amazon.com. That gave me a place to vent my feelings which helped quite a bit.

Again, I'm happy to find another kindred spirit!

Word Soup said...

Hello again, Tanya! I'm new at blogging. I can't figure out how to make my page look nice. The templates they have are pretty plain.

I like how you set up your page. Please tell me how you did this. I'll need step by step, because I'm pretty clueless in this area.

Thank you!

lynn